Lost Souls

How could the scuzziest man in the world and the kindest woman alive ever fall in love?

Arnie Garth has it all. An LA porn empire, a gorgeous pornstar mistress and a legendary wife. Unfortunately, he has the morals of a sewer rat. And when he finds himself on his premature deathbed, he receives some unexpected news: he has no soul.

According to the Keeper of Souls, he was born without one. A heavenly clerical error. His was mistakenly given to the baby girl behind him in the queue – a sweet, selfless Englishwoman named Noreen Milburn, who now has two.

To avoid a fate worse than death, Arnie has just one week to find Noreen, fall genuinely in love with her, and make her fall for him too. No explanations. No shortcuts. Just real love. The problem? Noreen is a sheep-loving Lake District shepherdess who prefers charity work to men, while Arnie’s world is full of porn stars, a furious wife and a hired hitman.

The route to true love runs from LA to Cumbria to Las Vegas. But will it find its way home?